


I Wish I Could

by vondrostes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Harry, Canon Compliant, Domestic, Fluff and Smut, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Premature Ejaculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 16:03:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18264704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vondrostes/pseuds/vondrostes
Summary: “Insert tabs C and B into slot A. There you have it.”





	I Wish I Could

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how to tag this kink because I have no idea what the name of it even is. If it has a name. This fic is more humorous than sexy probably but hopefully you enjoy! I just got out of the hospital after having surgery, but I should hopefully be back on schedule soon.
> 
> Twitter: @vondrostes & @vondrostesupd8s  
> Tumblr: @vondrostes

“I want to try something.”

It was the sort of thing Harry usually said while they were in the shower. Or a pool. Like being near any significant source of water suddenly turned him into a nymphomaniac. That made sense in a strange sort of way, Louis thought to himself. Nymphs were water deities, if what he remembered from the English lessons he hadn’t paid hardly any attention to happened to be correct. Or, well, some of the nymphs were.

“What are the nymph things that live in the sea called?” Louis wondered, ignoring Harry’s statement completely. “Naiads or summat?”

Harry frowned. “No, naiads live in rivers. Nereids live in the sea.” He tilted his head inquisitively. “Are you ignoring me?”

Louis was still wondering what one might call a nymph who lived perpetually in the shower, but he shook his head with a wide-eyed face of innocence, quickly changing tacks. “You wanted to try something,” he re-iterated before crooking an eyebrow at Harry in expectation. “Well?”

They were sat at Louis’s kitchen table of all places, which was thus far one of the stranger locations they’d had a conversation like this. Harry was getting braver though, Louis thought, slowly evolving from the whispered requests made from his bunk back at the X Factor house to whatever this was—asking for some strange new kink he’d thought up on the toilet while they were in the middle of pudding. Louis pre-emptively wrinkled his nose in disgust. He really hoped the toilet hadn’t had anything to do with Harry’s inspiration for this one.

“Are you sure you’re listening to me?” Harry asked sceptically. “You look like you’re rehearsing lines or something.”

“I’m not!” Louis replied in an overly defensive tone. He shovelled another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. “I’m all ears,” he said, the words muffled by the icy dessert he could already tell was about to give him a brain freeze.

“Well,” Harry continued, still not looking entirely convinced that Louis was telling the truth, “I saw something in a porn ad that I thought we could try?”

Louis didn’t mean to wince, really. It just so happened that the brain freeze he’d anticipated decided to occur at that very moment, and there was no holding back his reaction.

“I haven’t even told you what it is yet,” Harry said, sounding unfairly wounded by Louis’s involuntary facial contortions.

“No,” Louis protested, “sorry, I just—brain freeze. Anyways, keep going.”

“I don’t have to.”

“Please, Harry, I promise I’m on board with whatever you’ve decided we should try this time.”

Harry scowled a little bit at Louis’s attempt at dry humour before finally coming right out with it. “I thought you could put your bollocks in me while we have sex,” he said bluntly.

Louis just stared at him, a little in awe of the fact that Harry had managed to get all the words out in one go, just like that. Maybe getting Harry annoyed was the secret to tricking him into saying what he really meant the first time around, without all the hemming and hawing and unnecessary question marks.

“You haven’t said anything,” Harry pointed out several seconds later.

“I’m, uh—” Louis wrestled with the concept of what Harry was proposing, staring down at his rapidly melting ice cream to avoid meeting Harry’s eyes. “I’m struggling with the logistics of it,” he finally admitted.

It had taken Harry a while to get the courage up to ask Louis to fuck him in the first place, was the thing. Louis hadn’t wanted to be pushy, or assume that that’s what Harry would want, so he’d never suggested anything more than handjobs or blowjobs himself—and he would have been content with those for the rest of eternity if Harry hadn’t wanted anything else.

But then, on the last day they were still living together at Princess Park of all things, Harry had suddenly jumped Louis while he’d still been in bed, having already fingered himself open, and the rest was history.

Sort of.

Louis had undergone something of a crash course in porn-worthy kinks in the months since. Harry, as it turned out, was virtually insatiable, and living apart (some of the time) only seemed to stoke the fires of whatever need he had to go bigger and better in every aspect of their sex life. Louis was half-worried they might run out of things to try before he was twenty-five at their current rate.

This wasn’t something that had been on Louis’s radar, though, so maybe not.

“How—” Louis started to ask before pausing, still stuck on wrapping his head around the idea itself.

Harry was clearly growing annoyed again. “What’s so hard to figure out?” he demanded between bites of his ice cream. “Insert tabs C and B into slot A. There you have it.”

Louis might have laughed at Harry’s word choice if he hadn’t still been recovering from the proposal. “I think you’re underestimating just how tight your arse is,” Louis confessed.

“It’s _my_ arse,” Harry argued.

“Yeah, and it’s my cock I’ve been putting in it. Barely.”

That was true even if it was something they didn’t often discuss in depth. Louis frequently had to spend ages fingering Harry open before he was relaxed enough to take Louis’s cock without cutting off all circulation to it. That had gotten a bit better once they’d discovered rimming, but Louis still didn’t think there was any way he could fit his balls in as well. It didn’t sound particularly comfortable either, and Louis wasn’t sure what the appeal was meant to be.

But what Harry wanted, he usually got. Typically thanks the trademark pout he was now sporting as he stood up to collect his and Louis’s dishes before taking them to the sink.

Louis stared at the soft curve of Harry’s spine through his t-shirt and sighed. “Fine,” he relented. “We’ll give it a go, I suppose.” He could practically see the grin through the back of Harry’s head as he got up from the table to meet him over at the sink. “Go upstairs and get ready,” Louis scolded as he bumped Harry out of the way with a nudge of his hip. “I’ll finish cleaning up.”

Louis waited until Harry was out of the room before pulling out his phone to do a bit of quick research on the best methods for accomplishing exactly what Harry wanted him to do. He sure as hell wasn’t about to go into it blind.

By the time Louis made it to the master bedroom where Harry was laid out on the bed, naked and waiting for him, he had a slightly better idea of what he needed to do to make this work.

“Should I go on my front or my back?” Harry asked, still with three fingers buried inside himself.

It was all terribly mundane now. Like they were an old married couple instead of a teenager and a barely-not-teenager who had only started fucking properly a little less than six months ago. Louis didn’t even bat an eye as he started to shed his clothes right there in the doorway.

“Back’s all right, I think,” he replied as he tugged his shirt over his head. Louis knew Harry would be pleased by that. He couldn’t imagine that there was anyone else on the planet who genuinely enjoyed missionary as much as Harry did.

Once Louis was naked, he crawled onto the bed between Harry’s splayed legs and retrieved the bottle of lube lying next to his hip. There was a small stain on the sheets from where the cap had leaked a bit, and Louis would have been more annoyed if they weren’t about to ruin the rest of the sheets with even more lube anyway. They never told you in porn just how much of a pain in the arse regular sex was when it came down to doing laundry.

“You could look a little more enthused,” Harry said snippily as he watched Louis stroke himself leisurely, trying to make sure that everything below the belt was as slick as possible.

“I am enthused,” Louis replied automatically even though he knew Harry was right and he didn’t look like he was enjoying this one bit. “Sorry,” he added in a softer voice. “I just don’t want to hurt you.”

“Just go slow,” Harry urged. He tilted his hips up a little in invitation. “I trust you.”

Louis didn’t think that trust trumped physics. Or anatomy. Whatever it was. But Harry seemed to really want this, so Louis was at least willing to give it a go.

Louis started with his balls first, carefully tugging Harry open with a finger before gritting his teeth a bit and pushing one testicle inside the tight clutch of his body, then the other to follow. He left his cock lying flat along Harry’s taint as he waited for both of them to adjust to the new feeling.

“Is it okay?” Harry was the first to speak up.

Louis nodded. “Feels a bit weird,” he admitted. “Not like, bad-weird, just…I dunno. Weird.” It felt good, actually, now that he could focus on the actual sensations of it rather than frustratedly trying to push his balls into Harry and get them to stay there. Now for the hard part. “If it hurts too much,” Louis warned, “tell me, okay?”

Harry nodded obediently. “Okay.”

Louis was acutely aware of Harry’s eyes tracking his every movement as he pulled back a bit to give himself some room, all while trying to keep his balls from popping out as he bent his cock down to press in alongside him. Despite what he’d said to Harry about stopping if it hurt, Louis was the one feeling a bit of discomfort as he staunchly ignored the unpleasantness of trying to manipulate his erection into a position it wasn’t meant to be in. He slid home by degrees, finally coming to rest with his pelvis pressed against Harry’s bollocks while his own package remained tucked inside Harry’s arse.

Louis blinked rapidly, suddenly feeling short of breath as he registered that he was inside Harry, fully, in a way he’d never been before. And it was tight. Mind-numbingly tight. Louis was afraid that if he moved even a centimetre that he might accidentally shoot off right then and there like it was his first time again.

Harry stared up at him imploringly. “Are you okay?” he asked. He didn’t seem affected by the additional stretch at all.

Louis nodded tightly. “Just give me a minute.”

One minute turned into two, and then Harry started to fidget. Louis gave him a warning look, putting a stop to that immediately.

Suddenly, Harry started to blink, too, his eyes watering.

“What’s wrong?” Louis fretted.

“I have to sneeze.”

Louis’s stomach dropped. “Wait, don’t—”

He didn’t have time to even finish the sentence before Harry let out three rapid sneezes in succession, each of them causing him to clench down involuntarily around Louis.

Louis felt like his cock and balls were trapped in a vice. A very pleasant, warm vice that was practically milking the orgasm out of him as he shoved his cock forward a bit instinctually, trying to get even deeper as he spilled into the heat of Harry’s arse.

He dropped his head down against Harry’s collarbone with a loud groan. “Fuck, sorry.”

Harry was shaking underneath him, and it wasn’t until Louis pulled his head up to check to see what was wrong that he realised Harry was trying to hold in laughter.

“Well, I’m glad you find this so funny,” Louis remarked as he sat up and slipped out of Harry, staring down regretfully at the mess on the sheets that followed.

“Sorry,” Harry said. “I’m glad we tried?” His eyes flicked down to his own cock, still hard and pressed up under his belly button. “You still owe me an orgasm, though.”

Louis wrinkled his nose and glanced down at his own softening cock. He didn’t think he was going to be getting it up again anytime soon. “How about I eat you out in the shower?” he offered.

“Deal.”


End file.
